Good Behavior

Elan is getting to a difficult age. Scratch that- he has been in a difficult age for about 9 months now. 3 has been a developmental year for him: he's learned how to back-talk, stand by his convictions NO MATTER WHAT, wrestle with his younger brother and WIN, steal, use "bathroom" words in the living room (and supermarket), successfully refuse to sleep at my in-laws so Y and I can go out for a night, and work the remote control.

My behavior-modifying parents said I had to get him on a reward-system, the whole positive reinforcement thing, where he earns points and eventually a toy for continued good behavior. Drawing lines got messy, and I decided star stickers on a piece of paper on the fridge would do the trick. Sometimes it works well- it certainly did at first.

But then yesterday Elan's nursery got out early for parent-teacher conferences (don't get me started- they don't even have to be in school yet, legally!) so he and a friend were playing at our place while I worked (re: read other blogs) at the computer nearby. They were soooo good and sooooo quiet for sooooo long, that, well, I'm an idiot for not checking things out sooner.

When I finally got up, the boys had done some redecorating: the two hundred or so star stickers were stuck all along the wall next to the staircase. Beautiful. As a top-off, there were several random star stickers strewn about on other walls, appliances, light switches--like a little scavenger hunt. Lucky me.

I sent the other kid home. Elan confessed that he "really just wanted everything to be shiny," and that the stickers were individual "clues." I have no idea what he had in mind, but he and I spent about an hour last night working on de-starring the staircase wall, a process that made me nausceous and dizzy because each time I scraped off a star my fingernails would scratch the wall with the effect of that on a chalkboard.

Afterwards, we shared a big hug of accomplishment and he got a star for good behavior.