With this ring...

Last night I had a dream about my wedding to Y. It was very realistic- the kind from which you wake up confused about your surroundings- except in this version, Y and I were getting married at the summer camp I attended as a kid, and we were sharing our wedding with another couple who I haven't actually seen in years. Things were kind of harried, my veil didn't match my dress and I slapped it on my head just before my walk down the aisle, during which I realized I had forgotten to order a bouquet and so I didn't know what to do with my hands. Clasp 'em in front of you, I decided, and walked awkwardly and quickly down while trying to balance the veil that was slipping off my head.

In retrospect, I guess it was a little upsetting. But I've had variations on the everything-goes-wrong-at-my-wedding dream before, so I didn't panic in this one.

Actually, on the contrary, I was thrilled in the dream, looking at Y and knowing I was about to marry him was the best feeling in the world, and it really took me back to that time with him. I woke up with a smile on my face.

Last November we celebrated our 5th anniversary. We usually don't make a big deal out of occasions, even birthdays and anniversaries, and rarely (since we're poor and can't afford anything good anyway) even bother with gifts. This under-reaction habit of ours drives my in-laws to the brink of insanity, by the way, which is maybe why we insist upon it? We once forgot their anniversary (aren't anniversaries supposed to be celebrated between the couple anyway?) and it just wasn't pretty.
For another post. This year, we were both feeling kind of romantic- none of our friends have been married five years yet, so I guess we were proud of ourselves and a little lovey-dovey. We didn't talk about presents except for me to hint really obviously that it was NOT ok for Y to skip giving me one this year.

I knew what I was getting him: when we got married, we had even less cash than we do now, so I got him his wedding band from my grandfather, who's retired but still dabbles in the jewelry business. It was a beautiful ring but more ornate than what he would have chosen, yellow gold instead of white, etc. It was free so he didn't complain. He's worn it for five years but I knew he didn't love it, so I planned to get him a new wedding band for our anniversary. And I did.

Meanwhile, Y hinted that he had bought me something big (re: expensive) and he really hoped I was going to like it because he had saved money for the past six months to afford it and put his heart and soul into picking it out...blah blah blah. I was terrified because I knew it was jewelry and I'm not big on jewelry, only wear my wedding rings most of the time, and am picky about style. It turned out to be a very beautiful diamond and sapphire eternity band set on 18K white gold. Gorgeous. I loved that it was a ring, something I could wear everyday till it felt like part of me, and I was completely impressed with his choice. He loved his ring too, by the way.

About a month into wearing it, my finger turned red, itchy, and flaky under the new ring. I shmeared on some Cortizone, took the ring off, and let the rash clear up. Then I tried the ring again. A few weeks later, same reaction. I am allergic to the ring. I took it to a jeweler, who said many women are allergic to white gold, which can contain nickel, and he coated it with Rhodium, which is pure. He said that would do it. Once coated, the ring looked even prettier than before. But it didn't work--my precious, Platinum-only skin, saw right through that Rhodium and broke out yet again. I gave up. The jeweler Y bought it from refuses to take it back, it didn't sell on eBay, and basically I'm stuck with a very expensive, unwearable ring. Happy anniversary to me.

Y's ring, in the meantime, was too loose. I took it to a jeweler and had gold beads put into the inner perimeter to make it fit better, which worked. Recently, I've noticed Y wearing his old, original band again. When I asked him what was going on, he said he thought he just liked it better. The beads made the new one uncomfortable. I said I'd get it sized instead, he said fine. I haven't done that yet and he's still wearing the old ring.

We are back to square one-- no new rings, anniversary gifts tucked away for safe keeping. Humph. Now broke, we'll probably go back to the no-presents-just-order-wine-and-dessert-at-dinner-and-get-a-funny-card-thing.