So Precocious

"Mo-om, I'm do-one!"
"K, I'll be right there."
"MOMMY! COME WIPE ME! I'M REA-DY!"
"I heard you the first time! I'm coming!"

Arrives at the bathroom, baby wipes in hand, where Elan sits perched upon a Blue's Clues toilet-seat potty, a book open on his lap. Upon seeing me, he stands on the stool under his feet, his expression curious but unreadable.

I glance in the bowl behind him, only to find it empty.

"Elan? Is this a joke? You didn't go to the bathroom!"

"I knew you would 'hink that, Mommy. I knew you would 'hink I didn't make any'hing."

"But...You did?" I ask, patience rapidly evaporating, unsure of how I'd let this become a conversation rather than a simple interaction.

"Yes, I did. I made a lot of poop. But I flush-ted it while I was making, because it was smehwling sooo bad! I flushted it after each one because I didn't want to smehwl it! When you flush it while you poop, it doesn't smehwl up the whole bathroom!" he finished, his little face glowing with pride, the smile reflecting his certainty that he'd coined this trick.

A skill that far too-many adult, public-restroom patrons have yet to hone. And he figured it out all by himself.

I'm choked up.