That Which Turns Me Green

I can count on my friend Sarah for lots of things, but most notably to make me laugh. Right now she's on a trip to Europe - Prague and Russia, specifically, with her mother.

Today, I received the following text message from her screen name:

We are leaving Mother Russia.
We have waited far too long.
We are leaving Mother Russia.
When they come for us, we'll be gone.

I'm guessing:

a) There aren't many movie theaters in Russia.

b) The chick is sitting on the curb outside a local pub, knocking back shots of Moskovskaya vodka and pints of borscht while sharing drunken folk songs with some elderly, nostalgic, bearded Ruskies - while her mom snoozes unknowingly, six stories above them, back at the hotel.

You already know how warmly I feel towards Russian men, so you can rightfully label me Jealous that she's busy basking in the glow of their attentions.

Eat it up, girl.