Where Things Stand

It's been hard to write lately because I have so much less time than I used to, and because I can't write about my job, which would be such good material. And less time in general means less time to process every little thing that happens between my children and I, to grasp the poignancy of these moments with enough leftover to aptly communicate it to anyone who might be listening.

But it's even harder to write about Ariel, who is at such a delicious age, that age when you wish so badly that you could just videotape their every move and every tantrum, because they're just that amusing, that entertaining.

I want to write about him so I have a record, but it's hard because he is developing SO quickly, becoming a thinking and frightfully-opinionated person more rapidly than I can track. His level of reasoning is more sophisticated with each passing day, and there are so many oh-my-god-did-he-really-just-say-that moments that when I want to blog about him, I get overwhelmed with the where-to-begins of it all.

How to describe my child?

Lately, we've enjoyed watching him try to figure out who he is and where he fits in this world, and he seems to be of the belief that those answers are best understood when placed in context - in relation to everyone and everything else.

"Mommy? Yer a girlie. Just like all da udder girlies. Like Esti Hammi in my class. Da only gurl."

Or:

"I'm seventeen. You're one, Mommy."
"Actually, I'm twenty-six."
"Oh, yes yes. Right. Yer twunny-six, jus like ME."

There is also evidence of his ongoing urge to take a stand and argue a cause, and he seems to feel his best chance of gaining the jury's sympathy is by channeling his inner Mommy, in his best Authoritative Voice:

"Ariel, I'll stay with you for one more minute. Then you really need to get some sleep."
"NO. You will stay for twunny-wunny meenutes and DATS FINAL."

He's also good at finding ways to delay the inevitable, like taking a nap:
"MOOOMMMMY! COME HERE!! I NEEEEEEED YOOOOU!"
(Rushing upstairs:) "What, Ariel? Are you okay?"
(Chin in his palm, with a let's talk expression on his face:) "My brudder Elawn is really funny, huh?"

And then, there are the ever-remarkable powers of manipulation that toddlers seem to learn before you've realized they know how to speak - these, too, are getting more impressive all the time. When I refuse Ariel something, his immediate response has become:
"Nuh-uh, my daddy said ye-es!"
Never mind the fact that he never did ask Y's permission, nor that Y needn't even be home for him to apply the tactic. When speaking to Y, it's "my mommy said ye-es," and, as you might have guessed, when both of us are present, his "brudder Elawn" is the one who gave him the go-ahead.

Also not surprisingly, he's a little songbird, and once on a kick, can throw four or five complete songs into the universe for posterity at the top of his lungs. (For volume, he's his own cheerleader: "Goooo, Adiel! Say! It! Louder!") He recites the alphabet in two languages, knows most of the Beatles White Album, and has memorized a slew of PBS theme songs - which you KNOW I love.

We can't take him to a movie theater because Ariel prefers to provide a running narration during a film so that he can be PERFECTLY CLEAR on who is a bad guy, who is a good guy, and who "can't walk because he's SO old."

He knows about the world of Bad Guys because Y taught him. Y taught him about the notorious Gray Goose Monkey, which Y claims to have come across during his sabbatical in the jungles of Africa (prior to meeting me). No, said sabbatical never actually took place, but Ariel will tell you what the Gray Goose will do, should you happen upon one: "Squeeze yer brains out of yer head and bite yer ears off and make yer eyes POP OUT!"

Thanks, Y, for that.

Lest you think his understanding of good and evil only applies to fictional animals, Ariel has also labeled Nicolette Sheridan's character on Desperate Housewives, the conniving, perpetually-lingerie-clad temptress Edie Brit, a "bad gurl."

To which I can only say, let's hope intuition always serves him as well.