If Only

For Elan's birthday, my grandmother sent him a $50 bill, scotch-taped to the inside of a card, with swirly, cursive instructions to "Make your mommy buy you whatever you want!"

The following Sunday morning, we head to Target, a little red-and-blue Spider-Man wallet tucked inside my purse beside my own. In the car, Elan asks me if we'll be getting Ariel - left at home with his dad - a present, too.

"Nope," I reply. "It's your birthday trip. This one's just for you. Anyway, I'm not spending money today!"

"Oh. Well, I'll just pick out something for him and pay for it with my money, then. That way he won't be jealous."

Just like that: sucker-punched. Guess I'm spending money today.

"No need." Sigh. "Spend your money on yourself. I'll buy something for him because you were so thoughtful."

My son is pleased with this result. We traipse the endless aisles of toys, Elan seriously considering his options. Finally, he's decided on two, bringing us to a grand total of twenty-six bucks.

"Will that use up all my money?" Elan is hesitant.
"No - actually, you'll still have almost half of it left."
"So I'll pick out more!"
"You know, it might be a good idea to go with these two toys for now so that you'll really be able to enjoy them. Then you can save the rest of your money for the next time there's something you really want."
He thinks. Then: "Okay."

Okay. I pay for my paper-towels, Pull-Ups, throw pillow, and the headband I'll never wear. I ask the cashier to ring up Elan's purchases separately.

Proudly, he reaches into the nylon wallet and produces a crisp fifty, handing it gingerly to the smiling teenager in red. He is shocked when, a minute later, she hands him back a bunch of bills and some coins.

"Why did I get back MORE money than I gave her?!" He asks as soon as we turn to the exit. He cannot believe his luck.

"It's less money, babe," I laugh. "It's the leftover money you have from the fifty dollars Buba gave you, minus what the presents cost. It's a smaller amount, but it's broken into a bunch more pieces. You call it 'change.'"

He looks at me like, Oh yeah. Of course. Change! I totally understand that whole concept...I was just testing YOU.

I smile down at him, incredibly proud of my parenting skills, how I've managed to wrap Responsibility, Basic Math, the Value of a Hard-Earned Buck, and Social Assertiveness into one big, warm-and-fuzzy lesson, sandwiched neatly into a Memorable Birthday Outing With Mom.

Together, we tackle an envelope of point-of-purchase M&Ms.

This was in July. Yesterday, Elan had a play-date with his best friend, Kevin. I overheard him impart the following wisdom to his shorter, and obviously less worldly buddy:

"You want more money? Shd'I tell you what to do? Go buy something, like a toy? Because when you buy something, and you give them your money to pay for it, they give you back more money than you gave them. It's really awesome."

Yeah.