Rapidly Learning to Work the System

Ariel: "Mom-my, Elan's not sharing his to-oy!"
Me: "Elan, that's not very nice. You should give your brother a turn."
Elan: "Well, he didn't share his toy penguin with me this morning - the one that walks and talks? I asked him Please Ariel can I play with your toy and he just said 'NO!' and he took it away from me."
Me [under my breath]: G-d, I hate that thing. [Out loud:] "Is that true, Ariel?"
Pause.
Ariel: "No, it's just that I didn't share it because I take-ded it away from Elan and I turn-ded it off because it was giving Mommy a headache. THAT's da reason what I was flinking."

Hey, no argument there.

Overheard in Chicago

"So, how old are you?"
"Three and a half. How old are you?"
"Well I'm five."
Pause.
"Like...your whole hand?"

By George, I've Got It

"It" being the perfect workout song playlist.

Stress release is absolutely necessary for mothers of young children, and exercise is the recommended tonic. I used to be of mind that yoga was the way to go - utter reverse of body tension, complete shut-down and focus of mind.

Maybe I'll go back to that one day. But right now, it doesn't seem to be what I need. Right now, all I care about is cardio. I've always loved cardiovascular exercise when it wasn't for its own sake - like a game or sport. But when, in the past, I've used machines or gone to gyms for the health benefit alone, it's felt like a definite chore. I thought the best way to get through a workout was to distract myself from it, such as by reading or watching television. But doing so never really kept me from checking the timed count-down every minute and a half.

Now I realize that the best way to get through a cardio workout - and to reap the stress-release benefit of it - is to be in the moment, to focus on the feeling of moving and of being, for that moment, powerful and in control. The feeling not doing anything else (re: wiping your kid's snot from your sleeve, AKA his or her personal kleenex box).

For me, part of it is listening to THE PERFECT soundtrack. Nothing less will do.

And I think I've devised it.

So get your iPods, or iPhone, if you're me (- like how I worked that in? See what I did there? -), out and at the ready, because here it is. This playlist is particularly effective for running and elliptical workouts, but should lend itself nicely to anything that involves easing in, working up a lot of steam, pretending you're Rocky Balboa, and eventually - reluctantly, even - succumbing to exhaustion and returning to real life.

And, by the way, it isn't really about the lyrics, but if your taste in music tends to be conservative or religious, a couple of these songs might not be for you.

Otherwise, they're just plain motivational, and you can grab them all on iTunes. Here we go.

For your warm-up:
"Pictures of You" - The Cure
"Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)" - Styx
"Mystery" - Live

Add speed and/or intensity:
"Makes Me Wonder" - Maroon 5
"Born to Run" - K-OS
"Hash Pipe" - Weezer

Hit your stride & go crazy:
"Bleed It Out" - Linkin Park
"Numb" - Linkin Park
"In the End" - Linkin Park

Bring it home:
"Sunday Morning" - K-OS
"Slow Hands" - Interpol

Calm down (you aren't really a professional athlete):
"Oil and Water" - Incubus
"Young Folks" Peter Bjorn and John

Stretch:
"Say It Ain't So" - Weezer
"New Slang" - The Shins

And there it is. Obviously, you could tweak this list to taste or time, and I'm sure I'll tire of it and have to start fresh in a few more weeks. But honestly, if this can't get you happily through at least 500-or-so calories - and make you a nicer, more heavily-endorphined human being for it, I don't know what can.

But then again, what do I know?

---

P.S. Everything, now that I've finished the 7th Harry Potter.
P.P.S. I don't do drugs, swear.
P.P.P.S. Above playlist works equally well at drowning out sounds of Dora the Explorer (yes, I have boys, so? SAY IT TO MY FACE.), Dragon Tales, and The Legend of Tarzan.